ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO END

Hi Colleagues, I must say time surely flies. We are at the end of another course and this one has been very intense. Communication is so embedded in relationships. Although we do not have face to face to contact I believe I konw so much about each of my classmates. I just want to take this time to thank all of you for contributing so much to communications journey. Without your insightful comments and your valid contributions I would not have made it. All the best to every one and we are almost at the end of the master's journey. Judy

ADJOURNING

This week we are asked to speak about the adjourning process with regards to team work. The adjourning is the fifth stage in the five stages of team building and signifies the end of the project (Abudi, 2010). To me the adjourning stage can either be very hard or easy for the team the team. It all depends on what the relationship was like among the team members. When I was a teenager I use to attend church camps. We were placed in dorms and competing houses for the duration. During the camp week we build relationships among persons in the houses and the dorms. We hand to bond to win competitions and excel in different areas of the camp life. It was very difficult for us to say good bye at the end of the week but we exchanged numbers and addresses and did our best to stay in touch with each other. Even though I might not be attached to my fellow colleagues in the Master’s program I know I am going to miss the discussions and blogs. Although I have no physical attachment I believe I have connected in some way to my classmates. There is so much I have learned from all the persons in my class and I know I will go through the adjourning process when this program is completed. Reference Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Dealing With Conflict-What Would You Do?

Conflict happens every day in our lives. Whether it be at school, in the workplace or at home we are going to experience some amount of conflict. I believe my job and my life are surrounded with conflict because of the nature of my job and the some decisions that I have made in life. My father who is terminally ill with cancer is not able to take care of himself any more but unfortunately my mother and the nurse aid does not seem to see eye to eye on how to take care of him. My mother believes she knows what she is doing and unfortunately she is not right at all times. I often find myself standing in the middle of the conflicting arguments and acting as a mediator. I find this very stressful at times because I have to leave what I am doing and journey to St. Elizabeth to ensure that the nurse does not leave the job because this would definitely make the situation worse for me. My teenage daughter and her father sometimes end up having conflicts because I find that they just do not take the time out to listen to each other. Again, I find myself playing mediator. I have learned to deal with conflicting situations throughout my life. Often I wait until the dust has settled and then approach the persons involved in the conflicts. Some of the strategies that I have used is to listen carefully to the persons involved, speak kind words and softly, smile, hug, distract the person with some physical activity such as exercise. I tend to do this with my daughter. When I am exercising I ask her to join me and then I seize the moment to talk to her about the conflicts. I also distract my husband by showing interest in his work, talking to him on a one on one basis. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the different situations but I speak to myself and ask myself questions such as “Judy if you were in this situation how would you be wanted to treated? I try not to undermine the parties involved but to initiate respect at all levels. I have also had conflicts especially in the work place because the job involves some amount of team work and sometimes persons just do not do their share of the work which impacts on our targets. I have had to take blame for persons for their lack of participation and just for a quiet life I sometimes have to apologize for things that I am not guilty of. I strongly believe that violence does not solve any problem. I believe in the scripture that is takes from the Bible in the book of Proverbs chapter 15 vs 1: “Soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.”

Who Am I As A Competent Commuicator?

This we are asked to reflect on how we perceive ourselves as a competent communicator and how others view our abilities. To accomplish this task I used the three assessments Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressiveness Scale and Listening Styles Profile (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009; Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009). These assessments came as a surprise to me. For Communication Anxiety I was viewed as someone who feels comfortable communicating with others in most situations and feel confident in anticipating such encounters. The other two persons who evaluated me in this area also saw me just as how I had perceived myself. What surprised me though, I never recognized that I was so keenly observed when making presentations in group meetings. I took much of this communication thing for granted because I was exposed to making presentations from a very a very early age (as young as ten years old to be in the lime light). And I guess this exposure has influenced my communication skills. My listening skills I believe really reflect who I am. In group 2 my listening style is “Action-Oriented.” This is so true of me. My job is very time consuming and demands much observation, interviewing techniques and listening skills. All of this has to be done in a timely manner and I guess after doing this job for nearly five years I have perfected this skill. It is true that my efficiency is respected (as the job demands this) but may intimidate more sensitive listeners. The two major insights that I have gained for the past week is (1) how we perceive ourselves and (2) how others perceive us. O’Hair & Wienmann states, “your awareness and understanding of who you are –as interpreted and influenced by your thoughts , actions, abilities, values, goals and ideals is your self –concept.” I have found myself in some situations where I have to really speak to myself and tell myself that I am just as good or even better than my competitors and colleagues because I felt intimidated by the crowd. I had a supervisor that made every effort to make her subordinates feel less than who they really are. She found fault with everything and reprimanded us as if we were children. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I found strategies to overcome the challenges I faced with her. You must have confidence in yourself and believe in yourself. How others perceive us can really be a challenge and it can cause communication to be awkward. How we dress, where we live, what we drive, the social groups we find ourselves in heavily influence the way people perceive us at first sight. At work there are group of development officers that I communicate with both on a professional and personal basis. Why? I can relate to them easily because we have a so much in common. We are not fussy over the latest motor vehicle on the market, we have children in the same age group and we are currently pursuing our M.S. But there is another group of D.O’s I just can’t relate to personally because we just do not share the same concerns and values. These D.O.’s are more concerned with the latest fashion etc. They tend to judge persons by the outward appearances. You would be surprised to recognize how very simple things can affect the way we communicate with each other especially in the workplace. Reference O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's. Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

COMMUNICATION ACROSS CULTURES

In my family diversity in terms of ethnicity and class are very evident and therefore, I find myself behaving differently around different family members. My family is not only mixed in terms of ethnicity but mixed nationally and culturally. I found myself wearing different masks at a funeral service and repass for my mom’s cousin. My mom’s cousin who was part Indian, part Negro and part white (Mulatto) married to a Chinese man; therefore, the children looked more like Chinese. I had family members visiting from Canada, England and the USA. I simply did not know how to connect or communicate with her children. I don’t know if growing up in the United States had any thing to do with how they reacted to their Jamaican cousins but I guess it came as a shock when they realized that they had relatives who looked nothing like them. I found my Chinese cousins really reserved and I maybe the reason for this, is we really did not know each other until the day of their mother’s funeral or it could be the fact that it was a sad occasion and so they were mourning. I found myself behaving reserve and solemn around them yet when I saw my Jamaican cousins my personality completely changed. I laughed and made informal conversations and gestures with these cousins. I also behave differently around my Aunts and grandparents. I spoke strictly the Queen of England English and behaved as if I am well cultured. I teach my children to do the same and my husband who does not believe in changing the masks (he thinks it is hypocritical) notices that my son has adopted this attitude. He said he notices that our son speaks perfect English when he finds himself in a certain company but when he is in another setting he uses the creole Language. Based on what I have learned about communication this week, three strategies that I would employ for more effective communication among persons that are diverse are (1) I would keep it very simple and specific. When we keep it simple and specific there will be less ambiguity in our messages. (2) Get to know the persons who are of different culture and ethnicity. This is very important because it is good that we are familiar with each person’s culture, especially when it relates to foods, religion and even customs that involve touching. (3) Put aside preconceived ideas and assumptions. I believe we all might have some preconceived ideas about persons we know nothing about or what might be portrayed through the media. For example, many persons in developed countries still think that persons living in the developing countries live in trees and caves and run around naked.

Focus on Nonverbal Communication

This week we are asked to select a television show that we would not typically watch and view it with the sound off. The aim of this is to make assumptions about the characters’ relationships towards each other and then we are to view the same show with the sound on to see if my assumptions were correct. I decided to view a Jamaican show “The Blackburns of Royal Palm Estate” This is a Jamaican soap opera that seems to carry several story lines. I could detect much emotion among the characters such as character “Sonny T” and a male character (a police officer) seem to having a very hot or aggressive argument I also observed “Sonny T” handling large sums of cash and talking to a few females that seem to work with him. The females seem to be prospective ‘drug mules’ some sort of worker for him base on their facial expressions. The females were beautiful, well dressed and appear to be seductive in character. I then watched the show with the sound on. Some of my assumptions were right and some were wrong. The argument between Sonny T and the man (a private investigator) was true. The investigator was actually investigating “SonnyT” for money laundering and also for trafficking drugs. Sonny T was not so happy with his visit and so they had an argument. Because the officer did have a warrant to search his premises Sonny T ordered him to leave his premises immediately. I was, however, wrong about the females in the scene. These females were characters that were pretending to like Sonny T and make passes at him but they were really working under cover for the police force so that they can gather enough evidence to put Sonny T in jail. There was female who actually was planting bugs in his office so that they can keep a tap on his activities. There is a famous saying we say where I come from “ASSUME” means making an ASS out of U and ME. This simply means we are never to assume but we must always first get the facts. I believe if I had watched the clipping with the sound on I would have realized some of my assumptions were totally wrong. The girls paint one picture that they are really working for Sonny T but when I listened to the conversation among the girls I realized they were on a totally different mission to get enough evidence to send Sonny T to jail. I don’t think I really have any ‘aha’ moments as yet. But I realize that we cannot just go by or use nonverbal communication alone but verbal communication is also needed to support nonverbal communication. O’hair states, “while these two forms of communication are connected, nonverbal communication is vague without its counterpart. Reference O' Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's. “The Blackburns of Royal Palm Estate”. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcrPGJKYoNw

Welcome to Communication & Collaboration

I believe my supervisor at work has excellent communication skills. She deals with the general public every day and she also has to deal with early childhood professionals at all levels of the organization. This week a case came to her where a practitioner was handed a letter from the chairman of the school that her services were no longer needed due to some conflict issues at the school. The practitioner was very upset over the letter and my supervisor managed to calm her down by just talking to her in a very calm and relaxing way. My supervisor read the letter, listened intently to the practitioner’s side of story and then told her she will have to convene a meeting with the principal and the school board so as to hear everybody’s side of the story. After the practitioner left, my supervisor called the principal and the board chairman about the letter and also listened to their side of the story. My supervisor kindly informed them that the matter needs to be addressed professionally and without bias and therefore it would suit the school to settle this dispute within the confines of the school management and not allow it to get to the “Labor Board” as a letter such as this is asking for a law suit against the school and its management. I believe my supervisor acting in a calm manner, was good listener, used the labor laws as her guide and just being able to mediate. These communication skills are very effective and I would definetly would emulate them in dealing with conflicts.